(taken by cassy)

So i pretty much was a bum today.Big hat,messy hair,two baggy shirts and tights xD
Watching movies and eating all day.pew.

Once said, Once Kept.

My friend cas came over really quick,i guess to see how i was doing and to sneak in pictures of me.>/ But anyway, we spoke for a little, i updated her in my life..and she said nothing but "Keep your heart rock solid"...and then she told me she had to leave to one of her family parties. What she said, shocked me.

But beyond that event i stepped outside for the first time today into my back yard,i looked down and this plant stood out to me.My mom keeps a whole bunch outside,but this one actually looked lonely,i guess because there was only one thing living on it.



you see that? that one tomato, is the only thing living on that plant,which amazed me.It was lonely yet strong and alive.

Ahh

I feel so "fewiuofwidsbgfvwuoadvsiwqerefq8yodjogwi" ..I can't really explain it, but i know it's a wonderful happy feeling. I just finished watching Beauty and the Beast.I remember i use to love this movie when i was kid, and i just found myself, today,falling in love with it all over.Definitely one of the things that made me smile wide,along with my family,friends,serg,and mena being alive today and my dad cooking us a great lunch.

I believe in fairies! I believe in fairies!

Mary: i imagined that brilliant people disappeared to some secret place,where good ideas floated around likes leaves in autumn,and i hoped at least once you would take me there with you.
James: there is no such place
Mary: yes there is.. Neverland





*Finding Neverland is jolted down as one of my favorite films. <3*

you are one of my favorite films

"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting.'-Laurie

I actually had some nerve to look up "brain tumor symptoms".
Not that i have it..well hopefully i don't. It's just I've been getting a lot of headaches lately or i just feel sick,out of place.Today i woke up feeling a bit dizzy or feeling like i had a hang over even though i didn't drink,but i ate some cornflakes and it went away. I'm going to the doctor's(hospital)really soon.To at least know if i'm alright in the head and if my blood is healthy, because i want to donate some on friday.

There slowly becoming something i need daily.

Today's weather held so much admiration,that i wanted everyone to have a smile splatter across there face.

It sucks to know that i can't do anything to help but be here.I hope you know that things will only get better.Just dont push me away to far,because im not strong enough for a chase nor to stay.

I was on the bus,sitting with Michelle and Luis and those two leafs just randomly appeared onto the window and they were sticking together even though it was raining and the bus made turns and the winds was dancing... they still were together. i thought it was beautiful.The meaning of it being beautiful was that if one didnt leave,the other wouldn't,no matter what.

The shadow that walks behind me when the sun shines after rainy days.

Sun won over the gray monsters.

Mena's evil left eye.

You can do better then that.

*whispers*Close your eyes and do you feel the wind?how good it feels?

Woke up and i knew today was going to be shitty.


I went to school in such a rush and the rain was so difficult to managed,i came into my English class,a bit late with my music blasting.As soon as i got there,i went right to work.Got my report card towards the ending,I did okay i suppose.My average was an 80.83%, i was happy with myself but yet disappointment because i know i can do better then an 80.My parents..i guess were satisfied,got them off my back for now.My mother was happier then my dad,at least she showed it more. At moments like this, is when i wish my father came to me and hugged me and told me that he's proud, instead of saying "oh that's good" and being absent minded about it. I think i care for my father's approval more then anything.I came into conclusion about why is that,it's because he's always the first one to put me down or say something not nice, like "your stupid".Even though i work for his approval,i also work on my process in life as in happiness,grades and keeping those i love happy.Besides all that jazzy stuff,i went to the mall today with Michelle and Luis,two of my best friends and ate there and took some pictures.I ran into one of my old buddies ozzy which was pleasant.

Also I've been leaching onto this headache for way to long.I'm starting to think that there's something wrong and maybe it's time for me to go to the doctors.Maybe i'll go,when it's too late.

Im way too happy...

I feel like my heart is about to explode.


-stands up-
-dances-
-shakes it off-
....still happy. -___-

Yper with an H.

Today events:
I went to the mall today,with Michelle,Adam,Luis,Regina, Alex and ...thats it >.< well me and luis couldn't stop singing to this song xD
and now it's like glued onto my brain,but i likez it:)
ahh,i was so hyper after drinking coke and mountain dew, i have no idea why,but i was.i took pictures with my new camowa,even though i wanted to take some more,but we have plenty of other hang outs coming so no worries!Oh and today was the first day actually hanging out with Regina, and she's pretty cool,so that was pretty sweet.

And now im doing some homework. la la la la. Still hyper btw. and i feel much better then i did yesterday.

Overall today was fun.Even though i was a bit worried about Sergio,and how he was holding up today on an family event,but i know he's strong. <3

Me,Adam,Michelle and luis are starting to become a group:) and i'm very fond with that,because there great earthlings. oh and were mallbums.

So I Know A Heartless Man.

you yell with an reckless mouth,you bring ne down and you bring me to tears,and then after all that,you ask for respect?..you must be kidding me.One of these days I'm going to have a heart attack, because of you. I'm glad i have Michelle,Adam, and Luis on my side to at least make me feel a bit better,and plus michelle's happy blog made me smile.

Kelvin: if the sky would speak to me, what would it say, and what kind of accent would it have
Me:i speak to the sky everyday..i tell her that she's so beautiful in so many ways, and i thank her, for making my day seem lighter.

:S

Just for a few, i managed to sneak out of my house and see him.We sat in his stoop and it felt so nice. I actually felt like i could breathe again because of the winds and sunset.Today slightly felt different from all the other days we spent together.

FACT THAT MUST BE UNLEASHED.

I don't like doing things that people expect me to do...Let me do it on own, and maybe then,it'll mean something more to me and you.

First Few that i already took.

Your hands are hands that i shake often.

Almost four in the morning and i can't find sleep.Mena is just sitting down next to me, going around circles like a royal queen she is.I wish i was with you though,you and scary room,sipping on some warm green tea actually.All i have to say is i'm wearing your shirt,listening to soothing music,can't recall who's singing though,it's coming from my sister's room. Tomorrow i'm finally getting my camera.

It makes me smile when i can make someone's day better.

So my friend Kelvin was having a bad day, so i told him a story.

.....
Me:im beyond happy.
today in the morning
the sky looked so ...different...
it was like a BIG HUGE GRAY MONSTER WAS trying to eat the sun up
but the sun was fighting
and it was shining
even though you saw one bit of it
in the middle of the gray monster ...
but it was deff. screaming joy
the sun i mean.
there were lines.. all spread out
and finally before it hit 8...
the sun won...
but then ... the gray monster gather his other friends..
and so they won for the day.
and the sun and the monster had a bet..
to whoever won..would shine tomorrow.
and the monster won
so it's gonna be all gray and raining tomorrow
see how that works out?
it works out like red and green sprinkles.
hikari*** you're too amazing
Me: for telling a story that i created in the morning?
hikari***:that really helped my mood alot
hikari***:and i dont feel so tense
hikari***:i think i can attempt to sleep


you might be thinking..."that's it"? or "lame story" or whatever is running in your brain,but you have no idea how me and him look at the clouds/sky. We basically worship it.

hello.. -pokes-

I feel like i should start this blog with the song im listening to right now as i type this.



The Sounds Of Animals Fighting was shown to me a while ago, maybe two or three years ago? and today i just remembered about them,while i was showing someone music. I'm really happy that i found you again ^-^.


Anyway, lately i've been caught up in webs with my friends, it has been fun:D<3
updates please? well i can tell you one thing for sure, Im pretty happy,maybe not sane, but im happy and slightly content.Tonight will and shall be another movie night.Other then that, one of my friends told me that i look like a hamster, because of my cheeks-_-.Btw. Michelle Kwan, i love you very dearly and i know you'll get everything you want because you deserve it.Thank you for the talk this morning and the sushi ^-^

And i kinda miss you..

This song has to be one of those songs, that goes inside your soul and squeezes it till the hurt is no longer there because of the numbness and throbbing pain left from the squeezing.

Desire

to be happy...but i just can't touch upon it,yet.but it's nice to see that you have chased happiness and finally got it...or is it just an illusion your trying to pull off?

This song made me feel loved.

makoto shinkai is a genius.

Oh how we meet again..

You,sleep,has never change...come to haunt me when it's unnecessarily,when i need sleep the most. I,instead start watching this movie 5 Centimeters Per Second and start working on my lovely oceanography paper and then maybe another movie. Boy,is my stomach hungry.A year from now i was watching Ninja turtles.


*this is me,later on throughout the day..6:33pm*
5 Centimeters Per Second was such a good movie, i honestly wanted to jump into the screen and stop the snow,so Takaki and Akari can see eachother. >.< This movie made me all mushy!^-^ **MOVIE MUST BE WATCHED* Makoto Shinkai has beautiful pieces of film out there and my mission now..is to see all of them <3 -props to him,i swear-

My morning was not Ordinary.

..Because i actually opened my eyes hoping to see you..

Something Nice.

-sniffs sniffs- Haku seems to reply: hmm? xD..So we made up our own story for Spirited away..(at least this is how i saw it >.<)

Chihiro; i sniff alot >.~
Haku; i run after squirrels but they're too quick
Chihiro;I can eat an elephant with my eyes close
Haku;gasp! so cute! you have quite the talent miss, it can save the world
Chihiro;<3
Haku;you and i can save it
Chihiro;all we need to do is combine our toes
Haku; in sand!
Chihiro;withe slice apples on our hands<3
Haku;and your hand in mine
Chihiro;with our left eye close
Haku;but staring at eachother with our right ones
Chihiro; with our teeth showing
Haku;because we're smiling so hard
Chihiro; our right eye turns green
Haku; to match the green water of the ocean
Chihiro;dancing fishes a rise
Haku; and i dance with you
Chihiro;with your pinky finger on my chin
Haku; your palm on my face
Chihiro;i put your hair behind your left ear
Haku; and i lift your chin so our eyes are at equal level
Chihiro; i sniff you once
Haku;i think its cute so i bump your nose with mine
Chihiro; so i eskimo kiss you
-Mins shortly-
Chihiro; why must you leave me hanging on a eskimo kiss?
Haku; i dont, im just shy, you're making me blush
Chihiro;well then i shall kiss your pinkest cheek
Haku; i think its so cute of you, so i lean in further
Chihiro; can- i.. i... k-is..s.. yo-..
Haku;the lips that form the smile that you give me all the time, my lips belong to you... may i...kiss you?
Chihiro;.. -blushes- - looks down- ..-looks up-..yes.. you ..may..
Haku; then i'll hold your chin up, lean in and kiss you, and hold your soft beautiful face
Chihiro;while the wind plays with my eye lashes
Haku; and i feel the comfort i've been longing for connected with you
Chihiro; so were swirling
Haku;i feel the closest i've ever been to the sky

Please be happy.

I just finished watching Spirited Away,such a pretty film. <3 I love films that make me happy after i finish watching it or just in the middle.. and this was definitely one.

Sometimes

i wish i went to school that day.

<3

-drools- satya <333

Hoping today would be a better day then my morning.

I'm waiting for my friend Angela so then we can meet up with my other friend Sergio...by the way, the winds today are priceless<3

YOUR FRIENDS LIKE TO JUDGE WITHOUT KNOWING FULL STORY.

but then again, you do talk for me.
...so just because i did mistakes and walked away at points you "needed me", im a horrible person for that?- what if i walked away, because i knew that you'll be better off without me,or just the fact that i was ashamed for even putting you through some pain.But come on now, you swear that you were a better person then i was, and that you were the most mature person out there..like seriously?

....you know what,writing this is not worth it.


Focus on what makes me happy
Focus on what makes me happy
Focus on what makes me happy
Focus on what makes me happy

what is the truth?

I can sit here and tell you how i really feel.But then you'll want to vomit after wards, or probably in between the words i type.

10/10/09.

Was one of those days that i wish never ended.So okay, ready to dive in?-nods head- :)


Well,my sister woke me up around 9ish,I was sort of shocked that she wanted me to come along with her.We got ready and then we had a process of bursting with rush, which was totally funny, because my sister thought that we were going to be late to meet up with her friends.We arrived at Queens Center Mall and i met her friends, they were pretty awesome.I was shy at first,so that lead me to be silent,but later on the run i got comfortable so i startled to talk more and they startled talking to me more.There were three girls including me and my sister and one of the girl's mom and this guy.The museum we went to was The Metropolitan Museum Of Art,I-DID-NOT-WANT-TO-LEAVE. I was so caught up in all the information that all the figures and stuff had.We ate food twice >.<.After i was literally dragged out of the museum we went back to the mall,and ate, and walked around.While i was going back home, i couldn't help but get frustrated that i didn't have a camera to take pictures of the sky.Did any of you guys see the blueish peachy linings spread across that sky?...GOD!..i wanted to hug the sky and bow to it for being so damn beautiful.


So, maybe this doesn't sound so exciting, but you just have no idea how much i appreciate museums...

The bitter end.

I told myself, that i would not let you take over and ruin it for me. But of course i listen to you're pleading and let you stomp everything i have created.Oh it has been the best thing that has happened to me since our fire accident but yet the blue butterflies still fly.And i still ask myself "How did this war end? How did you put your white flag first? and put all the blame on me?" I'm completely weak and beat.My eyes roll over to the left with such drowsiness while i lay down on this cold wet floor and I'm starting to feel like a tumor is growing,feeding upon my pumping blood on the side of my left brain.*My toes no longer wiggle.My heart no longer beats for you.* You are now discussing some news to this old man,who has deep unhappy curvy wrinkles.You have walked with your head high,spitting those acute words.I have one thing to tell you, your saliva tastes bitter.

I AM JANIRI JEREZ, once again.

So,i haven't been here lately to update your eyes.But i got to say that i've been absent minded and happy this week. I've been feeling like myself again.I'm slowly starting to walk on my own after a big trip.I think that i don't ever want to grow up, i want to live in the thought of process,always processing instead of actually living in the thought of getting old or being more experienced, i happen to think that it's more healthier and you accomplish more things.This week i have focus on the things that make me smile,even if it's the little things,like the leaves laughing when the wind dances.

Lately i've been hanging out with my friends, which i think is a good thing?--because when im with them,there's nothing in this world but us and food.^.^

Oh and tonight is ANIME NIGHT! YAY:D

Btw. If i had a camera, this blog WILL be full of pictures.---soon to be bought.Along with that, homework has become my new bestfriend.

My world, meet MY Mena <33

She's going to rule all cats one day.

So while i was doing my Oceanography homework..

i found this article very interesting.


http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/09/090909122100.htm

(copy&paste)

This weekend.

Has been one of the greatest weekends i could ask for. I spent time with my family.I actually have come to some sense that my family likes to dedicated there time with each other in the weekends,Which i adore. As i said this before,it's incredible how much i can smile and feel so strong within seconds, and plus i was cooking dinner for them,so yummy by the way.I couldn't believe how much they liked it, i felt so satisfied and happy.I shall cook more. Seeing others happy makes me happy. My big brother Jerry came over with my two nephews Jayden and Jayson,there so adorable.We laughed so much.We hugged, and we talked about the deepest things we were going through in our lives at the moment. I found out alot of things, and they found out alot of things of me as well. I love them so much,My family has a huge impact on me. They helped created the person i am today.Yesterday i felt full of happiness and so as for today, since there still here,while my dad cooks for us.

Stop whispering.

Lets repeat.Let's go back to this morning.


I woke up sooo happy.Woke up to Mena on my chest and when i told her "good morning",she raised her paw and patted it on my right eye.I melted.So then i got dressed,drank coffee and ate cookies while listening to Tina Tuner and Whitney Houston,which reminds me that i need to download the songs that made me stay happy.I swear,i couldnt stop smiling when Whitney hit those high notes.

i have fallen in love all over.

I promise myself one day that i will go to space.

You'll see. And i'll do it, with someone or without.And i will take pictures,even of the unicorns.

You smell like new clothes.

So today we sat on a roof and ate and actually talked...The words you said are so unclear and fuzzy right now, because i was so overwhelmed on how i felt so whole,just by the powerful yet gentle winds..I have to be honest, when you left, i actually asked myself.."did that just happen?"

Some Updates Please?

Well actually there hasn't been much.

One QUESTION;
do you think love exist? or is it just an illusion? My opinion shall not be spoken.

But other then that;
I hung out with Alex,Luis,Michelle,Bryan,Nick and Laurel yesterday.There great:]
I've also been talking to someone and this someone has made me feel so much better, i actually know he wants nothing but friendship.He told me something today after i was finished telling him what was going on inside my thoughts and how they were traveling.

"you focus your mind on progressing, if you feel empty, you're in a standstill, so you cant fill yourself up in one go, you set your mind on moving forwards to something, the best thing you can think of, and surround yourself with that,becoming full again, it happens before your eyes but you don't realize it till its there,its all about progress, because to live is to progress, progression is movement, move towards the positive,something, someone, somewhere you feel you might find happiness,and if by some chance you dont find it, you've already move forward from where you were, you're not empty, you're progressing"

*this is amazing* and the song omg..(i had leached onto it for a while)

*this is the songs video btw*



BTW!; HAPPY OCTOBER:D