Even though i am not a big fan about writing about this whole year and how ready i am for the new year coming.But i think i ought to do it,just to let everything out.

I am still pretty shocked on all the things that had happen,but yet i am and couldnt be happier for all the good and worse events that did happen.I learned alot from the mistakes,but i regret none. I lost and found myself with more strength,happiness,positiveness and more love to spread. I was and i will always be thankful for the ones that are in my life till today. I hope i get to meet new people and do more mistakes.


I hope everyone has a wonderful new year.

Today is the last daylight of 2009.

Me and you have finally met again. It's so good to have you back.
Even though you wet my socks at times, make my nose incredibly red,you are still pearly beautiful. Hello snow.

I am still up.
I feel quite bad for my friend Deazer,who indeed is going to see me later.
Hopefully i won't fall into sleep while he is talking.

This song reminds me of my friend Andres,i think i ought to let him know.

Smile.Smile.Smile.Smile.Smile!

Quite Franklyn, i think Marilyn Manson is a bit attracting.

If you are reading this,make sure to click "older post" :)

I am up,up at this time.
Good morning,even though Good morning saying's are suppose to start at 6am.
But who cares? Thinking ahead is always best<3


I am currently texting "Kelving".

Hey you! ..yeah YOU!

you flirt to much, CUT IT OUT. IT's not attractive, AT ALL.

DO NOT PITY ME!

Thought this was way to adorable.

I wonder a lot on how i can portray all this love that i have onto this world instead on one person.

A new year is coming and i am not doing anything on that day.

But that is okay because i know that day is still going to be good.

To whom this may concern

This is what my tumblr holds.

http://zaybotlay.tumblr.com/

My good friend, Bhina, Great day to you.
Even though you are in Saudi Arabia right now,learning on new views on life,just thought you should know that you are in my thoughts right now this very moment,and while so, Banana pancakes is playing<3


Goodnight Bhina and i hope you are safe right now, cocoon within your blankets.I have much to tell you so, but i think my lips can wait a bit more. Enjoy.

What has been happening?

Everything is going soothing great. I can't imagine how this is possible. To feel this great. I am within this feeling, just floating with such a smile. I swear my teeth are going to fall. Christmas eve and day has past and my mum's birthday. I wrote her a pretty letter. Christian translated everything for me. So I thank him. And she liked it alot so i am very glad. But yes, Life has been so wonderful and beautiful..i'm not sure if I can explain it in words. But all I have to say,is a thought. So would you mind? Thank you. I think,well I feel, that Love is the root in us all. It is the starting point of what stream we'll take. Whether it is the good stream or the bad stream. The good stream is form by the love we receive and the love that is around us, the love that makes us blossom into the pure hearts of ours. And this stream makes us want to share everything we have and take in everything we can or everything of anything that is offer to us. The bad stream is the stream where there is no love found. There is no pipes that leak it. Some people go crazy or simply they do bad in this world if they dont find love. Everyone wants and needs love, some are in denial,pretty much,most.But enough of biting into that thought, I am listening to a very beautiful song right now, “sweet by blur”..the video is so adorable. Just like you. The moons have been half moons and with half smiles lately. Well that I have noticed. I hung out with benjmain and it was pretty nice. I haven't seen him in a while so of course it is always fantastic to catch up with an old friend. We ate some sushi and enjoy eachother company's not expecting much,just enjoying and that is the best. When you can sit down in silence and enjoy whats around you and inhale and exhale as if you were first born.

Me and Benjamin:

We need to be happy to survive in this unhappy world that we bring upon our selves.

This song can not stop lingering

I smiled at it all,with music,with love,with patience,with happiness,with pride and with a different perspective on life,i saw my own reflection.

Hello almost 2010.

I am ready for you. I am ready for all the goodness you have in store for me. I am ready!

It doesnt really matter if no one looks at this pretty public eye of mine that i had set up for the past few months. All that matters, is that i can let the tips of my fingers type all the letters it wants.

“Sometimes i wonder till today why aren’t me and you together.. but then i slowly remember that you were completely unhealthy mentally and emotionally wise.”

Your still talking about me? over what? 3 months? i think not you should get over it and live this beautiful life in front of you. And quit littering the world with the nonsense dirty words of yours.

“Clementine: You’re not a stalker or anything, right?
Joel: I’m not a stalker. You’re the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There’s a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.”

Something so true.

There's a difference between someone who listens to you and someone who hears what you're saying.

Honestly it feels so good to come back to you.
If only i can hug you,you pretty public eye.

“Marilyn Monroe wasn’t even her real name, Charles Manson isn’t his real name, and now, I’m taking that to be my real name. But what’s real? You can’t find the truth, you just pick the lie you like the best.”
—Marilyn Manson

Something my eyes fell upon that i thought was very eyecatching.

I am having such a hard time,choosing to come back here or stay on the world of tumblr.But i need a place to write and post pictures that has capture my heart.
ah! maybe i will write here? and use tumblr as a picture posting website? i think that sounds about right.

Maybe i should learn how to use tumblr.

http://zaybot.tumblr.com/

Someone to love me without my bangs,with me making silly faces,without any eye make up,with me talking to much,without me saying anything,with me sleeping, without dressing up,with me enjoying the enjoy,without any clothes,with me stuffing my face with food,without anything but me.Someone to tell me that im very beautiful from the inside and outside and actually mean it.




you see,simply here.
I want someone to love this.These random faces that i constantly do.

Yet there is this sadness upon a girl who is happy.

I was slicing up an avocado
When you came up behind me
With your quiet brand new sneakers
Your reflection i did not see
It was the hottest day in august
And we were heading for the sea
For a second my mind started drifting

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
You put your arms around

Blood sprayed on the kitchen sink
What's this? I had time to think
I see the tip of my index finger
My mind is slowly creating a link
From your mouth speaks your lovely voice
The best comments i've ever heard
Oh honey, you've cut off your finger
I bet that's gotta hurt

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
You put your arms around

I must've passed out on the porch
I'd never seen so many bright stars
When i wake up im in the waiting room
Of the local e.r.
My hand is wrapped in toilet paper
And my shirts all blood red
I see you standing there like an angel
And i say baby, i must be dead

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
you put your arms around me

Leccy once said "i think you inspire without knowing and i know you spread so much goodness upon us without knowing too."

Something Sweet So Share.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there is in silence.
As far as possible without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the ignorant;
they too have a story.
Be yourself.
Do not be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
Be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive God to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham and drudgery,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be graceful.
Be joyful.
Be happy.

-Unknown

You have encountered me.I have encountered you.




You let me know me that only a mind can be as open as it can be if you let it.And if i actually take everything in, I'd get overly whelmed by all the beauty around me. To see beyond the imperfections of everything is perfect.

Jeans,shirts,bags,hats,gloves,socks, are in the process of drying.

We are spiritual beings having human experiences through life to spread love,smiles,peace and what we have to offer.

“ You don’t take a photograph, you make a photograph."- Ansel Adams

Imagine Fireworks inside a cloud.

Sometimes he wonders too, why there isn't much peace in this world that he lives on.But yet he enjoys what he has.That fur that keeps him warm in the cold winds.The fact that he can jump and climb anywhere.The fact that he is so damn cute.

Everyone Changes till the point your confused,about whats real or unreal.

But people think i'm complicated just cause i know what i want and what i don't.

Even when it's cold, i still feel warm.

We never really have anyone.
People Change
For the worse or For the better.
People Leave.
People stay,but don't really stay.
People love.
People hate.
People lie.
People care.
People hide behind walls.
People follow other shadows.
People see the beyond of the beyond.
People see only but darkness.
People are negative.
People are positive.
People listen.
People teach.
People wander.
People ask.
People are silent.
People walk with eyes open.
People walk with close eyes.
People kill.
People betray.
People laugh.
People hug.
People stab.
People believe.
People smile.
People share.
People are selfish.
People are selfless.
People fade.
People shine.
People come.
People are People.
People see what they want to see.

you can't really depend on people,but only the person who gives you the same smile you give.

New Air.

Im cleaning out my Ipod today.
There's just to many songs that i have on there that hold way too much emotions from my past that aren't good,so it's time to let it go.
I didnt realized it till today, that some of these songs take me all the way back to 9th grade and last year and some feelings come and linger. I can't say those were the best years in my life,emotionally wise and how i cope with things. So since i have let go of those emotions a while ago and let go of those people that controlled me and hurt me,its time to let go of those songs. So today's goal is to put new songs into my ipod,so those new songs can feed onto my good positive feelings that i've been having for some time now.

..and IT just hit me today,that we are in December.

YOU dont just litter your trash,YOU litter anger,haterd,jealously and all that negativtie emotion junk.

Love of the Smiles.

And to know that by just seeing some teeth with such enjoyment can make someone feel so whole is amazing and it makes you want to keep on spreading your smile.

Im getting more sleepy then ever, and it's because of unhealthy food.

."Just a little more love
Just a little more peace
Is all it takes
To live the Dream
To walk hand and hand
We've got to understand
And one day soon
We'll live in harmony.."