"Nodding her head she tries to compose herself when in fact the only thing she longs for is his embrace
Young hurt is longest lasting
Sticks to you ever after"
Dear Dad,
Do you remember,years from now,how i use to dress up and i would spin around for you?I would have all these necklaces and layers on top of layers.Do you remember how i would watch you cook and tell you how bad i felt for those lobsters inside the pot?Do you remember how once you told me that you would give me anything in the world?Do you remember when late at nights i would call out your name to ask you for water because i was "thirsty" but in reality i was just scared and i needed comfort from you?Dad,where are you now? you have drowned inside all the liquor stores near us.you have no idea how much i hate when liquor is inside you,it's like i lose my dad,all parts of you,even your love towards me.your a whole different person.a stranger who walks around the house,dizzy,wondering if this is your home.i miss you,please come back.We'll go find help for you,just to be okay.I promise i won't judge you or hate you...just please let me help you find help.I miss being daddy's girl.I miss all the times we would laugh about my barbie stories and how much you would admire my stories about how i saw the world. I miss the positiveness you had inside you.Do you remember when you got a pigeon as a pet for me? just because i wanted one for one day.I would always love sitting next to you,because i felt safe.Now im scared of you, scared to talk to you,scared to even tell you i'm going to go out or do this or that. I'm scared to give you another chance every time you mess up. But as being your daughter of course there would always be chances chasing after you.I know your hurting about something,i can tell because of the way you sit or the way you day dream.I'm sorry if any of my disappointments got you this way.I'm sorry if this family got you this way.I'm sorry okay?But today,was the one day out of all these 16 years,out of all your drunken days,you told me you hated me and that you wish i would die.why?dad do you know how much you make me cry? for now im crying as i write this letter to you,as if you would ever receive it or even read it....I think i should end this here.just remember i'll always love you no matter what.
yours truly,
daddy's lost girl.
It saddens me how things change so quickly.
